'Just Normal' by Red Luna J (they/them)

It’s just a bad period, I hear. 

My friends say cramps are normal.

We eat chocolate, fill hot water bottles, and marvel at womanhood.

The boys in our class never miss a day of PE because they're scared to leak. 

It hurts bad, I can't focus at all. 

A doctor tells me it's normal, and i get put on the pill.

It doesn't help; but it's normal.

My body needs to get used to my menstrual cycle, it's normal. 

I miss school, I bleed through my clothes, it hurts. It's normal. I try other things, each promised to work.

I drag myself to A&E clutching my stomach as I try not to collapse from the pain. It's normal. 

I see doctors who have never bled, who tell me it's okay.

It's normal to have bad periods.

Medications don't help, my vagina hurts. 

I bleed through my sheets, layer pads and

try to live around it. 

It's normal. Just a heavy flow. 

My bladder stops working, they put a tube into it.

It's normal. 

Am I stressed at all?

My scan shows i have damage to my nerves and

blood supply. 

From what? I ask. Nothing. I'll get used to the tube soon enough.

Then my bowels stop working.

I see a doctor who sends me to a specialist, and I hear it for the first time.

Endometriosis. It wasn't normal. 

I wait for surgery, my organs are stuck together. 

It was never normal. 

Pain management team, 

Suprapubic Catheter,

Laparoscopy. 

I hear “no cure” and i cry for the eleven year old who thought being a woman was hurting. 

It wasn't normal.

☆☆☆

This piece is about the normalisation of “it’s just bad period cramps” and pelvic pain within young people who menstruate, and the lack of education in the general medical field around endometriosis and other conditions, inspired by the 8 year battle between my symptom onset, and diagnosis. I knew something wasn't right, but I was brushed off until I suffered issues with my pelvic organs that led me to need a long term medical device at the age of 17. Most endometriosis sufferers report similar experiences, and fall through the gaps between waiting lists and treatments.